So there’s been a lot going on and stuff. I dropped all my classes like a week before Spring vacation started because I wanted to join the military. Even though it was sad to see my friends at school see me go, I had to do it for my future. I knew graduating at Baruch would mean a dead end for me.. I didn’t wanna do business after my first year and doing other things won’t guarantee that I will be doing well in the future.

Anyways I am in Virginia.. wanting to go home. I came here to visit my parents and eventually, I ended up having to help them move out to another city called Fairfax. Honestly, there’s nothing to do here. I went to the gym and stuff and omg.. this one huge gym.. I went one day as a guest and this guy who introduces me around the gym kept using business techniques to get me to join. In my head I was like.. ‘dude, I am only staying in Virginia for like another week.. hell no I ain’t paying $80 a month for this crap and my parents are moving out within this week LOL.’ Funny thing is, I don’t know why I acted like I was so interested in this gym and asked questions to keep the conversation going LOL.

I kinda wish my parents acknowledges me that I grew up and I know as much as they do in terms of general education. My stepmother keeps reiterating things she said over five years ago and still thinks I am that same boy back then. HELLOO I only see you liek twice a year for the past six years. GET YO SHIT TOGETHA. I’M OUTT.

School started two weeks ago. Nothing much really happened. Met some new people and all. Luckily, I am loving my new schedule and stuff. Lately, I have been feeling depressed(?) and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I have been doing really nice things but I haven’t been appreciated for doing them. It’s whatever. Is this really it though? I don’t find satisfaction in life if I keep living through this everyday.

Title says it all. I wish you guys the best and get the best presents this year! What am I doing up at 3:30am? Oh well.. I am going to work on my handmade Christmas card right now for my Secret Santa and give it to that person tomorrow instead of the usual Friday meetup! Leggo!

Life changer.

Tomorrow is the day that will determine where I will go in life. May I rest everything upon to you Lord. You know my desires right now. I trust everything in your hands tomorrow.

Happy first day of December everyone! I just got my tumblr back because I forgot my username and password and was too lazy to do the captcha to do it again..

Anyways just a short update and probably a mental note for myself when I look at this post again in the near future:

Congratulations to my two friends who got into a relationship! I am proud of you guys! Apparently, everyone’s moving on and I feel like I am still lingering in the past. My faith in the Lord has decreased a bit and staggered right now. In all honesty, I started liking this girl but I know she isn’t the one for me.. it’s too obvious; I know that we aren’t that compatible with each other. Moreover, even though we have gotten a bit intimate, I just feel a little goofy and reply text messages back without hesitating of what I type.. it’s stupid because I type some stuff that I know she might not reply back to.. DUH! Anyways, I have been doing okay. School work is going in a positive direction and I have been going to the gym on a regular basis. Life is too mundane because it is repetitive and I am afraid of taking risks unless I know I can definitely succeed. All I can say to myself right now is that my happiness isn’t present.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.

You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you.

Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation -but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of your body, you will live.

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs-heirs of God and co-heirs of Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

Romans 8:1-17

Theme: Desire of Christ.

Message: Not many people, even Christians themselves knows the true meaning of the gospel, the very core of the good news. Currently, we think the amount of Christians today are declining, however they are not. Rather, instead of declining, it is inclining and it is those Christians who are staying and all the lukewarm Christians that are leaving. What you do in this world is irrelevant; you can be very academic and successful, but you are not better or lower than anyone else especially in Christ. For example, this person (forgot his name) is academically smart and went to the top universities in America and even published something that was in the New York bestselling. One day, he visited people with special needs. However, even though he visited those people, he realized something important. Even though he was successful and those people were not, it did not matter if he was superior to them because anything he said, no one understood them. Why? Because anything you do in this world is irrelevant. It was then he finally realized that even though he was a public figure, it did not matter. He went back to Christ knowing that it had stunted in growth. The purpose of this message is that in Christ, anything is relevant because God sent his own son to die for our sins. That is the good news. So live your life in Christ because anything you do in this world will not matter.

What really grabbed my attention from today’s sermon was when the Rev. Danny mentioned that worldly matters are not relevant. One of the examples he shared was the church members. Before, I was hurt from my church members indirectly because I experienced and observed how they were all hypocrites. Because of what was happening, I questioned God, “God, why are all these people in my school, who goes to the same church, sin?” From then, I left church for a good 2-3 years without an answer. I always thought making friends and spending time with them is a part of fellowship. However, I was only thinking of making friends (which I was never good at) when I should have come to church to serve ONLY God. Making church friends are worldly matters, therefore it is irrelevant compared to going to church to serve God. My broken heart, yearning for this particular answer is finally fulfilled. Missing a few years of church really hit me to the core and how Christ really pounded on me. I thank you Lord so much for giving me this message today. Now I know that I cannot miss church ever again just because I am not liked or whatnot. :)

Even though it just turned 19th just now, I just want to say I am happy summer is ending on a good note. I got to hang out with everyone I wanted to see when I came back from my two months of being MIA. Big shout out to Alice congratulating her 18th birthday on the 17th! Had fun at the beach with her and some of my friends and new friends despite not having dinner at the end (arrg)! Oh yeah, the first time going to the beach after two years. It feels good except where the sand goes inside my bags and stuff.

Anyways, school is starting in a week! I do not know how I should feel. I know that I am more comfortable after transitioning from last year with little problems. More importantly, I should take my time to explore more careers this year to expand my options of what I want to do and see what I can do from there. Currently, I do not worry about social life because I am going to join the club from last year! I get to see new freshies in the club too! hehehe. I just remembered how I can continue to play my guitar in the club and learn more and play better.

There is more to say but I will tell later! :)